A Father Reflects
The tragedy of losing a child is that you expect yourself to leave this world before them. You anticipate growing old and seeing your children prosper and starting their own families. When this natural state of affairs is disrupted, you’re left feeling cheated by life itself.
My thoughts are always with my daughters, Annie, Charlotte, Esther and Maya. During my imprisonment, it was their existence which kept me strong and able to face each day. I could not have got through my incarceration without the thought of them. The belief that I would be freed one day and we would be together again, helped me to face some distressing times. I love each of them so much, and cannot give up the hope that one day I will again take up my role as their father. I desire this more than anything. These years have been a terrible burden on them.
Since I’ve been free I have been asked if I’ve now found peace and some kind of resolution. I will never feel resolution is possible while Billie’s killer walks free. People encourage me to think of ‘moving on’ and putting everything behind me, but my priorities centre on getting justice for Billie.
Since my acquittal I have been reading through every available piece of evidence. I have divided this into relevant sections and with help from other people, I am in the process of trying to re-create the jigsaw of events. I will not rest until Billie’s killer is brought to justice.
I need to know who ended her life. So I work, read and investigate to this end.
Billie will never be forgotten. I will never give up. That is my message to the person who took her life.